Thematic Bible: Satire
Thematic Bible
Satire » Of jesus against hypocrites
saying, "The scribes and the Pharisees sit on the seat of Moses. Therefore do and observe everything that they tell you, but do not do as {they do}, for they tell [others to do something] and do not do [it themselves]. And they tie up heavy burdens and put [them] on people's shoulders, but [they] themselves are not willing with their finger to move them read more.
And they do all their deeds in order to be seen by people, for they make their phylacteries broad and make their tassels long. And they love the place of honor at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues and the greetings in the marketplaces and to be called 'Rabbi' by people. But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' because one is your teacher, and you are all brothers, And do not call [anyone] your father on earth, for one is your heavenly Father. And do not be called teachers, because one is your teacher, the Christ. And the greatest among you will be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you shut the kingdom of heaven before people! For you do not enter, nor permit those wanting to go in to enter. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you travel around the sea and the dry [land] to make one convert, and when he becomes [one], you make him twice as much a son of hell [as] you [are]! "Woe to you, blind guides, who say, 'Whoever swears by the temple, it is nothing! But whoever swears by the gold of the temple is bound [by his oath].' Fools and blind [people]! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that makes the gold holy? And, 'Whoever swears by the altar, it is nothing! But whoever swears by the gift [that is] on it is bound [by his oath].' Blind [people]! For which [is] greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift holy Therefore the one who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything [that is] on it. And the one who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells [in] it And the one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by the one who sits on it. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you pay a tenth of mint and dill and cumin, and neglect the more important [matters] of the law--justice and mercy and faithfulness! It was necessary to do these [things] {while not neglecting those}. Blind guides who filter out a gnat and swallow a camel! "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and of everything unclean! In the [same] way, on the outside you also appear righteous to people, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you build the tombs of the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous, and you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partners with them in the blood of the prophets!' Thus you testify against yourselves that you are descendants of those who murdered the prophets! And you--fill up the measure of your fathers! Serpents! Offspring of vipers! How will you escape from the condemnation to hell?
And they do all their deeds in order to be seen by people, for they make their phylacteries broad and make their tassels long. And they love the place of honor at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues and the greetings in the marketplaces and to be called 'Rabbi' by people. But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' because one is your teacher, and you are all brothers, And do not call [anyone] your father on earth, for one is your heavenly Father. And do not be called teachers, because one is your teacher, the Christ. And the greatest among you will be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you shut the kingdom of heaven before people! For you do not enter, nor permit those wanting to go in to enter. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you travel around the sea and the dry [land] to make one convert, and when he becomes [one], you make him twice as much a son of hell [as] you [are]! "Woe to you, blind guides, who say, 'Whoever swears by the temple, it is nothing! But whoever swears by the gold of the temple is bound [by his oath].' Fools and blind [people]! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that makes the gold holy? And, 'Whoever swears by the altar, it is nothing! But whoever swears by the gift [that is] on it is bound [by his oath].' Blind [people]! For which [is] greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift holy Therefore the one who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything [that is] on it. And the one who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells [in] it And the one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by the one who sits on it. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you pay a tenth of mint and dill and cumin, and neglect the more important [matters] of the law--justice and mercy and faithfulness! It was necessary to do these [things] {while not neglecting those}. Blind guides who filter out a gnat and swallow a camel! "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and of everything unclean! In the [same] way, on the outside you also appear righteous to people, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees--hypocrites!--because you build the tombs of the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous, and you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partners with them in the blood of the prophets!' Thus you testify against yourselves that you are descendants of those who murdered the prophets! And you--fill up the measure of your fathers! Serpents! Offspring of vipers! How will you escape from the condemnation to hell?
And they sent some of the Pharisees and the Herodians to him so that they could catch him unawares in a statement. And [when they] came, they said to him, "Teacher, we know that you are truthful and {you do not care what anyone thinks}, {because you do not regard the opinion of people} but teach the way of God in truth. Is it permitted to pay taxes to Caesar or not? Should we pay or should we not pay?" But [because he] knew their hypocrisy, he said to them, "Why are you testing me? Bring me a denarius so that I can look at [it]!" read more.
So they brought [one]. And he said to them, "Whose image and inscription [is] this?" And they said to him, "Caesar's." And Jesus said to them, "Give to Caesar the things of Caesar, and to God the things of God!" And they were utterly amazed at him. And Sadducees--who say there is no resurrection--came up to him and began to ask him, saying, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if someone's brother dies and he leaves behind a wife and does not leave a child, that his brother should take the wife and {father} descendants for his brother. There were seven brothers, and the first took a wife. And [when he] died, he did not leave descendants. And the second took her, and he died without leaving descendants. And the third likewise. And the seven did not leave descendants. Last of all the woman also died. In the resurrection, when they rise, {whose} wife will she be? For the seven had her [as] wife. Jesus said to them, "Are you not deceived because of this, [because you] do not know the scriptures or the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. Now concerning the dead, that they are raised, have you not read in the book of Moses {in the passage about the bush} how God spoke to him, saying, 'I [am] the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob'? He is not God of the dead, but of the living. You are very much mistaken!" And one of the scribes came up [and] heard them debating. [When he] saw that he answered them well, he asked him, "Which commandment is the most important of all?" Jesus answered, "The most important is, 'Listen, Israel! The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God from your whole heart and from your whole soul and from your whole mind and from your whole strength.' The second [is] this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." And the scribe said to him, "That is true, Teacher. You have said {correctly} that he is one and there is no other except him. And to love him from your whole heart and from your whole understanding and from your whole strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices." And Jesus, [when he] saw that he had answered thoughtfully, said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And no one dared to put a question to him any longer. And continuing, Jesus said [while] teaching in the temple [courts], "How can the scribes say that the Christ is David's son? David himself said by the Holy Spirit, 'The Lord said to my Lord, "Sit at my right hand, until I put your enemies under your feet." ' David himself calls him 'Lord,' and how is he his son?" And the large crowd was listening to him gladly. And in his teaching he said, "Beware of the scribes, who like walking around in long robes and greetings in the marketplaces and the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets, who devour the houses of widows and pray lengthy [prayers] for the sake of appearance. These will receive more severe condemnation!"
So they brought [one]. And he said to them, "Whose image and inscription [is] this?" And they said to him, "Caesar's." And Jesus said to them, "Give to Caesar the things of Caesar, and to God the things of God!" And they were utterly amazed at him. And Sadducees--who say there is no resurrection--came up to him and began to ask him, saying, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if someone's brother dies and he leaves behind a wife and does not leave a child, that his brother should take the wife and {father} descendants for his brother. There were seven brothers, and the first took a wife. And [when he] died, he did not leave descendants. And the second took her, and he died without leaving descendants. And the third likewise. And the seven did not leave descendants. Last of all the woman also died. In the resurrection, when they rise, {whose} wife will she be? For the seven had her [as] wife. Jesus said to them, "Are you not deceived because of this, [because you] do not know the scriptures or the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. Now concerning the dead, that they are raised, have you not read in the book of Moses {in the passage about the bush} how God spoke to him, saying, 'I [am] the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob'? He is not God of the dead, but of the living. You are very much mistaken!" And one of the scribes came up [and] heard them debating. [When he] saw that he answered them well, he asked him, "Which commandment is the most important of all?" Jesus answered, "The most important is, 'Listen, Israel! The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God from your whole heart and from your whole soul and from your whole mind and from your whole strength.' The second [is] this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." And the scribe said to him, "That is true, Teacher. You have said {correctly} that he is one and there is no other except him. And to love him from your whole heart and from your whole understanding and from your whole strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices." And Jesus, [when he] saw that he had answered thoughtfully, said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And no one dared to put a question to him any longer. And continuing, Jesus said [while] teaching in the temple [courts], "How can the scribes say that the Christ is David's son? David himself said by the Holy Spirit, 'The Lord said to my Lord, "Sit at my right hand, until I put your enemies under your feet." ' David himself calls him 'Lord,' and how is he his son?" And the large crowd was listening to him gladly. And in his teaching he said, "Beware of the scribes, who like walking around in long robes and greetings in the marketplaces and the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets, who devour the houses of widows and pray lengthy [prayers] for the sake of appearance. These will receive more severe condemnation!"
But the Lord said to him, "Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but your inside is full of greediness and wickedness. Fools! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? But give [as] charitable giving the things that are within, and behold, everything is clean for you. read more.
"But woe to you, Pharisees, because you pay a tenth of mint and rue and every garden herb, and neglect justice and love for God! But it was necessary to do these [things] without neglecting those things also. Woe to you, Pharisees, because you love the best seat in the synagogues and the greetings in the marketplaces! Woe to you, because you are like unmarked graves, and the people who walk over [them] do not know [it]! And one of the legal experts answered [and] said to him, "Teacher, [when you] say these [things], you insult us also!" So he said, "Woe to you also, legal experts, because you load people [with] burdens hard to bear, and [you] yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers! Woe to you, because you build the tombs of the prophets, and your fathers killed them! As a result you are witnesses, and you approve of the deeds of your fathers, because they killed them and you build [their tombs]! For this [reason] also the wisdom of God said, 'I will send to them prophets and apostles, and [some] of them they will kill and persecute,' so that the blood of all the prophets that has been shed from the foundation of the world may be required of this generation, from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who perished between the altar and the temple building. Yes, I tell you, it will be required of this generation! Woe to you, legal experts, because you have taken away the key to knowledge! You did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering!" And [when] he departed from there, the scribes and the Pharisees began to be terribly hostile, and to question him closely about many [things], plotting to catch him with reference to something {he might say}.
"But woe to you, Pharisees, because you pay a tenth of mint and rue and every garden herb, and neglect justice and love for God! But it was necessary to do these [things] without neglecting those things also. Woe to you, Pharisees, because you love the best seat in the synagogues and the greetings in the marketplaces! Woe to you, because you are like unmarked graves, and the people who walk over [them] do not know [it]! And one of the legal experts answered [and] said to him, "Teacher, [when you] say these [things], you insult us also!" So he said, "Woe to you also, legal experts, because you load people [with] burdens hard to bear, and [you] yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers! Woe to you, because you build the tombs of the prophets, and your fathers killed them! As a result you are witnesses, and you approve of the deeds of your fathers, because they killed them and you build [their tombs]! For this [reason] also the wisdom of God said, 'I will send to them prophets and apostles, and [some] of them they will kill and persecute,' so that the blood of all the prophets that has been shed from the foundation of the world may be required of this generation, from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who perished between the altar and the temple building. Yes, I tell you, it will be required of this generation! Woe to you, legal experts, because you have taken away the key to knowledge! You did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering!" And [when] he departed from there, the scribes and the Pharisees began to be terribly hostile, and to question him closely about many [things], plotting to catch him with reference to something {he might say}.
Satire » Hannah's song of exultation over peninnah
Then Hannah prayed and said, "My heart exults in Yahweh, my strength [is] exalted in Yahweh; {I grin} over my enemies, for I rejoice over your salvation. There is no one holy like Yahweh, for there is no one besides you, and there is no rock like our God. Do not increase speaking {very proud} words! Let no arrogance go forth from your mouth, for Yahweh is a God of knowledge [whose] deeds are not weighed. read more.
The bows of mighty warriors [are] shattered, but those who stumble gird [themselves with] strength. Those who were full must hire themselves out for bread, but those who are hungry will become fat. As for the infertile, she will bear seven, but [she who has] many sons withers away. Yahweh kills and restores alive, he brings down [to] Sheol and raises up. Yahweh makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and also exalts. He raises up the poor from [the] dust. From [the] ash heap he lifts up the needy, to cause them to sit with noble people and to cause them to inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth belong to Yahweh and he has set the inhabited world on them. He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked will be destroyed in the darkness, because a man will not prevail by [his] might. Yahweh will shatter his adversaries; he will thunder against them in the heavens. Yahweh will judge the ends of the earth. He will give strength to his king and will exalt the might of his anointed one.
The bows of mighty warriors [are] shattered, but those who stumble gird [themselves with] strength. Those who were full must hire themselves out for bread, but those who are hungry will become fat. As for the infertile, she will bear seven, but [she who has] many sons withers away. Yahweh kills and restores alive, he brings down [to] Sheol and raises up. Yahweh makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and also exalts. He raises up the poor from [the] dust. From [the] ash heap he lifts up the needy, to cause them to sit with noble people and to cause them to inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth belong to Yahweh and he has set the inhabited world on them. He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked will be destroyed in the darkness, because a man will not prevail by [his] might. Yahweh will shatter his adversaries; he will thunder against them in the heavens. Yahweh will judge the ends of the earth. He will give strength to his king and will exalt the might of his anointed one.
But to Hannah he would give {a double portion}, because he loved Hannah, though Yahweh had closed her womb. (Now her rival wife would provoke her severely in order to upset her because Yahweh had closed her womb.) And so he used to do year after year; {whenever} she went up to the house of Yahweh, she would provoke her so that she would weep and would not eat. read more.
So Elkanah her husband would say to her: "Hannah, why do you weep and why do you not eat? And {why are you heartsick}? Am I not better to you than ten sons?" Then Hannah got up after eating and drinking at Shiloh. (Now Eli the priest [was] sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the temple of Yahweh.) She [was] {deeply troubled}, so she prayed to Yahweh and wept bitterly.
So Elkanah her husband would say to her: "Hannah, why do you weep and why do you not eat? And {why are you heartsick}? Am I not better to you than ten sons?" Then Hannah got up after eating and drinking at Shiloh. (Now Eli the priest [was] sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the temple of Yahweh.) She [was] {deeply troubled}, so she prayed to Yahweh and wept bitterly.