Hemorrhoids in the Bible

And the hand of Jehovah was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he laid them waste, and smote them with hemorrhoids, Ashdod and its borders.

And it came to pass that, after they had carried it about, the hand of Jehovah was against the city with very great panic; and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and hemorrhoids broke out upon them.

and the men that died not were smitten with the hemorrhoids; and the cry of the city went up to heaven.

Then they said, What is the trespass-offering which we shall return to him? And they said, Five golden hemorrhoids, and five golden mice, the number of the lords of the Philistines; for one plague is upon them all, and upon your lords.

And ye shall make images of your hemorrhoids, and images of your mice that destroy the land, and give glory to the God of Israel: perhaps he will lighten his hand from off you, and from off your gods, and from off your land.

and they laid the ark of the LORD upon the cart and the forcer with the mice of gold and the images of their arses with hemorrhoids.

These are the golden arses with hemorrhoids which the Philistines gave to amends for a trespass offering to the LORD: for Ashdod one; for Gaza one; for Ashkelon one; for Gath one; and for Ekron one.