11 Bible Verses about Irony

In the middle of the day, Elijah made sport of them, saying: Give louder cries, for he is a god; he may be deep in thought. He may have gone away for some purpose. Perhaps he is on a journey. By chance he is sleeping and must be woke up.

The blacksmith takes a tool and works with it in the coals. He shapes an idol with hammers; he forges it with the might of his arm. He gets hungry and loses his strength. He drinks no water and grows faint. The carpenter measures with a line and makes an outline with a red chalk marker. He roughs it out with chisels and marks it with a compass. He shapes it in the form of man in all his glory, that it may dwell in a shrine. He cut down cedars, or cypress or oak. He let it grow among the trees of the forest, or planted a pine, and the rain made it grow.read more.
It is man's fuel for burning so he takes some to warm himself. He kindles a fire and bakes bread. But he also fashions a god and worships it. Yes he makes an idol and bows down to it. Half of the wood they burn in the fire. Over this half they roast meat that they can eat until they are full. They also warm themselves and say: We are warm. We can see the fire! But the rest of the wood they make into gods, carved statues. They bow to them and worship them. They pray to them and say: Rescue us, because you are our gods. They do not know or understand anything. Their eyes are plastered shut and cannot see. Their minds are closed and therefore they cannot understand. No one stops to think. No one has enough knowledge or understanding to say: I burned half of the wood in the fire. I also baked bread over its coals. I roasted meat and ate it. Now I am making the rest of the wood into a disgusting thing and bowing to a block of wood.

Doubtless you are the people, and wisdom will die with you!

I have heard many such things. You are all miserable comforters! Is there no limit to windy words? Or what provokes you that you answer?

This is what Jehovah says: 'You did not obey me. You have not freed your relatives and neighbors. Now I am going to free you,' declares Jehovah. 'I will free you to die in wars, plagues, and famines. I will make all the kingdoms of the world horrified at the thought of you.

Gideon's son Abimelech went to the town of Shechem. All his mother's relatives lived there. He told them: Ask the men of Shechem: 'Which is better for you. To have all seventy of Gideon's sons govern you or to have just one man? Remember that Abimelech is your own flesh and blood.' His mother's relatives talked to the men of Shechem about this for him. The men of Shechem decided to follow Abimelech because: He is our relative.read more.
They gave him seventy pieces of silver from the temple of Baal-Berith. Abimelech hired worthless and reckless men to join him. He went to his father's house at Ophrah. There on top of a single stone he killed his seventy brothers, Gideon's sons. Gideon's youngest son Jotham hid and therefore was not killed. All the men of Shechem and Bethmillo got together and went to the sacred oak tree at Shechem, where they made Abimelech king. Jotham heard about this. He stood on top of Mount Gerizim and shouted out to them: Men of Shechem, listen to me and God may listen to you! The trees went out to anoint a king over them. They said to the olive tree: 'Be our king.' The olive tree answered: 'I would have to stop producing my oil in order to govern you. My oil is used to honor gods and human beings.' Then the trees said to the fig tree: 'Come and be our king.' The fig tree replied: 'I would have to stop producing my good sweet fruit that I may govern you.' Then the trees spoke to the grapevine: 'You come and be our king.' But the vine answered: 'I could not govern you for I would have to stop producing my wine. It makes gods and human beings happy.' So then all the trees said to the thorn bush: 'You come and be our king! The thorn bush answered: 'If you really want to make me your king, then come and take shelter in my shade. If you do not, fire will blaze out of my thorny branches and burn up the cedars of Lebanon.' Think about it, Jotham continued: 'Were you really honest and sincere when you made Abimelech king? Have you respected Gideon's memory? Did you treat his family properly, as his actions deserved? My father fought for you. He risked his life to deliver you from the Midianites. Today you turned against my father's family. You killed his sons, seventy men on a single stone. And this because Abimelech, his son by his servant woman, is your relative, you have made him king of Shechem. If you have acted in truth and sincerity today to Gideon and his family then be happy with Abimelech and let him be happy with you. But if not, may fire blaze out from Abimelech and burn up the men of Shechem and Bethmillo. May fire blaze out from the men of Shechem and Bethmillo and burn Abimelech up.' Jotham ran away to Beer and lived there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

For who made you superior to (different than) another? What do you have that you did not receive? If you did receive it, why do you brag, as if you did not receive it? You are full and now you are rich, you have reigned as kings without us. I would to God you did reign, that we also might reign with you. For I think that God has placed us apostles last as men appointed to death. We are made a spectacle to the world, and to angels, and to men.read more.
We are fools for Christ. But you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are honorable, but we are despised. Even to this present hour we both hunger and thirst. We are naked. We are treated badly and we are homeless. We labor, working with our own hands. Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it; being slandered, we answer kindly. We are made as the filth of the world and are the refuse of all things to this day. I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children I warn you.

David went home so he could ask Jehovah to bless his family. But Saul's daughter Michal went out and started yelling at him: You were really great today! She said. You acted like a dirty old man. You danced around half-naked in front of your servants' slave-girls.

Jesus heard this. He said to them: Those who are well have no need of a medical man but those who are ill do. I have come to care for sinners not the upright.

They clothed him with purple. After weaving a crown of thorns they put it on him. Hail King of the Jews! They shouted at him. They struck his head with a reed and spat on him. They bowed their knees in false adoration to him.

Then Agrippa said to Paul: In a short time you would persuade (convince) me to become a Christian.