What Ish-bosheth said made Abner furious, so he replied, "A dog's head for Judah is that what I am? Up until today I've kept on showing loyalty to your father Saul's dynasty, to his relatives and friends, and I haven't turned you over to David, but you're charging me today with moral guilt regarding this woman!

"""Are you going to build a house for me to inhabit? After all, I haven't lived in a house since the day I brought up the Israelis from Egypt until now. Instead, I've moved around in a tent that served as my dwelling place.

And therefore you are great, Lord GOD, there is no one like you, there is no God except for you, just as we've heard with our own ears.

"And now, LORD God, let what you have spoken concerning your servant and his household be done and let it be done just as you've promised.

"Why are you so depressed these past few mornings," Jonadab asked Amnon, "since you're a son of the king? Why not tell me?" Amnon replied, "I'm in love with my brother Absalom's sister Tamar."

Absalom had gone to the king to ask him, "I've brought some men to shear the sheep. Won't you please come and join me, along with your senior staff?"

But David's brother Shimeah's son Jonadab reported, "Your majesty, don't assume they've killed all of the young men the king's sons only Amnon has died, since that was Absalom's intention from the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar.

"I've been a widowed woman ever since my husband died," she answered. "Your humble servant used to have two sons, but they got into a fight out in the field. Because there was no one to keep them apart, one of them attacked the other and killed him.

"Why, then," the woman asked, "are you planning to act just like this against God's people? Based on what your majesty has said, you're acting like one who is guilty himself, because you're not bringing back the one whom you've banished!

"Now as to why I've come to speak with your majesty the king, it's because the people have made me afraid, so your humble servant told herself, "I'll go speak to the king, so perhaps the king will do what his humble servant has requested.

Then the king addressed Joab, "Look! I'll do this thing that you've requested. Go bring back the young man Absalom."

And so it was that forty years after Israel had demanded a king, Absalom asked the king, "Please let me go to Hebron so I can pay my vow that I made to the LORD,

The LORD has repaid you personally for murdering the entire dynasty of Saul, whose place you've taken to reign! And the LORD has given the kingdom into your son Absalom's control. Now look! Your own evil has caught up with you, because you're guilty of murder!"

When Absalom's servants approached the woman of the house, they asked her, "Where are Ahimaaz and Jonathan?" "They've already crossed the brook," the woman answered. So Absalom's servants went away in search of Jonathan and Ahimaaz, but they couldn't find them, so they returned to Jerusalem.

Joab asked the man who was reporting to him, "What! You saw him? Why didn't you kill him right then and there? I would've given you ten pieces of silver and a warrior's sash!"

So Joab ordered a man from Ethiopia, "Go tell the king what you've seen." So the Ethiopian saluted Joab and then ran to tell David.

So men snuck into the city that day like men do who are ashamed after they've run away from a battle.

Joab went up to the palace and rebuked the king: "Today you've humiliated your entire army who just saved your life, the lives of your sons and daughters, and the lives of your wives and mistresses!

You love those who hate you and hate those who love you! You've made it abundantly clear today that your officers and the men under them mean nothing to you! I've learned today that you would rather have Absalom alive today and all the rest of us dead!

Now get up and restore the morale of your army. I swear by the LORD that if you don't get out there, you won't have a single man left in your army by nightfall! You'll be in more trouble today than all the disasters you've been through from your boyhood until now!"

David replied, "What do you sons of Zeruiah have in common with me? You've become my enemies today! Should anyone be executed in Israel today? Don't you know that I've been reinstated as king over Israel today?"

Right about then, Bichri's son Sheba, an ungodly man from the tribe of Benjamin, sounded a battle trumpet and announced: We've never been a part of David! We'll never gain anything from Jesse's son! It's every man to his tent, Israel!

I have been innocent before him, and I've kept myself from incurring guilt.

You've made room beneath me for my footsteps, and my feet didn't slip.