So Abner told David, "Give me permission to go out and rally all of Israel to your majesty the king so they can enter into a formal agreement with you to reign over everything that your heart desires." So David sent Abner off, and he went away in peace.

May judgment rest on Joab's head and on his father's entire household. May Joab's dynasty never be without one who has a discharge, who is a leper, who walks with a cane, who commits suicide, or who lacks food!"

Later, the king and his army marched on Jerusalem against the Jebusites, who were inhabiting the territory at that time and who had told David, "You're not coming in here! Even the blind and the lame could turn you away!" because they were thinking "David can't come here."

But David feared the LORD that day, and asked, "How can the Ark of God come to me?"

"What more can David say to you, and you surely know your servant, Lord GOD.

Later on, David asked, "Is there anyone left alive from Saul's household to whom I can show gracious love in memory of Jonathan?"

But now that he has died, what's the point of fasting? Can I bring him back again? I'll be going to be with him, but he won't be returning to me."

So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. When the king came to visit him, Amnon asked the king, "Please let my sister Tamar come and make some of her bread especially for me, so she can feed it to me personally."

"Send everybody out of here," Amnon said. So everyone left the room. Amnon told Tamar, "Bring the food into my private bedroom, so I can eat it with you personally." So Tamar took the cakes she had prepared and brought them into the private bedroom for her brother Amnon.

"As your soul lives, your majesty, the king," the woman answered, "no one can divert anything left or right from what your majesty the king has spoken! As a matter of fact, it was your servant Joab! He was there, giving me precise orders about everything that your humble servant was to say. Your servant Joab did this, intending to change the outcome of this matter. Nevertheless, your majesty is wise, like the wisdom of the angel of God, to be aware of everything that's going on throughout the earth."

In answer to Joab, Absalom replied, "Look, I sent for you, telling you "Come here so I can send you to the king to ask him "What's the point in moving here from Geshur? I would have been better off to have remained there!"' So let me see the king's face, and if I'm guilty of anything, let him execute me!"

And so it was that forty years after Israel had demanded a king, Absalom asked the king, "Please let me go to Hebron so I can pay my vow that I made to the LORD,

It seems only yesterday that you arrived, so should I make you wander around with us while I go wherever I can? Go back, and take your brothers with you. May gracious love and truth accompany you!"

So go back to the city and tell Absalom, "I'll be your servant, your majesty! Just as I served your father in the past, I can be your servant now.' That way you can manipulate Ahithophel's advice to my benefit.

Absalom replied, "Call in Hushai the Archite so I can hear what he has to say, too!"

"No way!" his army responded. "If we have to retreat from the battle, Absalom's men won't care about us. Even if half of us die, they won't care about us. But you are worth 10,000 of us. The best thing you can do for us is to remain in the city."

He replied, "Well, your majesty, since your servant is lame, I told myself, "I'll have my donkey saddled and I'll ride on it so I can leave with the king.' But my servant Ziba deceived me

I'm now 80 years old! I can hardly tell the difference between what tastes good or bad! I can't tell what I eat or drink! I can't hear the voice of men and women when they sing! So why should your servant be an added burden to your majesty the king?

Please let your servant return so I can die in my own home town near the grave of my father and mother. Meanwhile, here is your servant Chimham! Let him accompany your majesty the king. Please do for him whatever seems best to you."

He has trained my hands for battle readiness I can bend a bow made out of bronze.

So the king ordered Joab, commander of the special forces, who was with him, "Go throughout the tribes of Israel from Dan to Beer-sheba and take a census of the people so I can be made aware of the total number."

and asked him, "Why has your majesty the king come to his servant?" David replied, "To purchase your threshing floor and to build an altar to the LORD, so the pestilence can be averted from the people."